May 27, 2013

Fear: My greatest enemy

 "I want to overcome the things that scare me all this time without fear..."
Maybe some people think that I'm capable of doing anything, which is not the case. I fear people. I have never been like this before but I'm sure enough that there is certain reason to this which I've been trying to figure from the moment I have noticed my own emotional disability. Perhaps, I am too conscious of what people might think of me that I became less sociable to anyone except my peers.

Regardless of that, I try as much as possible to do the best on what I was doing. Fearing to fail. Because I have come to believe that failure was never pleasant, without realizing entirely the essence out of it. I look up highly on people without realizing my own passion and what makes me happy and satisfied. The more I avoid failure the more it comes to me, purposely.

I don't go out, because of the fear of being commented on. Yet, it draws me nearer to them without even realizing it. I dream a lot, but too afraid to take the risk. My comfort zone has been my shell where everything is maneuver by my own interest and choice. But there is always this thought that keeps on bugging me, that I won't get far if I limit myself to my own place of comfort. I won't improve if I keep on fearing everything. Step by step, I slowly lift myself up... hoping that this time I'll be strong enough to face it. Yes God is always there, I leave everything to Him this time forth. I am to embark a new journey I have decided on my own. This time please give me strength not to turn back and wisdom to do everything that's right. And tact to say everything in place. I need to seek this change for my improvement. And it would happen anytime soon. Allow me to accept any criticisms may it be good or bad, and I shall follow the path where you lead me to.



My self prayer:

Dear God I seek your presence in this time I'm about to embark in a decision I have decided on my own. Please give me strength not to turn back, wisdom to do everything that's right and tact to say everything in place. Guide me to any difficulties I am soon to encounter. Allow me to accept criticisms may it be good or bad, and I shall follow the path where you lead me too.


I leave everything to you this time forth. Amen.











May 23, 2013

Trip to Negros Occidental

My trip to Negros wasn't just for leisure, but to attend a pre-screening exam which  I don't know if I had done right. Well, atleast Negros Occidental was already checked on my list as one of the places I've been to. 

First of, since this is my first time to travel to the province I wasn't really confident of travelling alone despite gearing myself with google maps and checking out routes to the place I am going to. So, my mother went with me which I was really glad cause I never pushed her to come. She might have sensed my inability to go on my own that time. :D
But I do promise myself that for the future trips I will travel alone to test how far I can get and survive by myself. 


Place where I went.

 People in Negros speaks "Ilonggo" which is their dialect. It was like a mixture of cebuano, waray, bicolano cause they do have words related to these dialects. So they do understand a little cebuano and tagalog hence I had no trouble conversing to them properly. 

From Bohol, we ride on a boat bound to Cebu. The cheapest and easiest way was tracking. So we hurled a taxi to North Bus Terminal where all bus are bound to Negros Occidental.





It was almost two and a half hour ride from terminal to Toledo City Port, we sailed on a barge to San Carlos City, Negros Occidental.

This the Lite Ferry bound to Negros. 
 The lite ferry wasn't comfty at all. I haven't got a nice sleep, but I still chose to lie down than to get a view of the sea (which I'm very much used to already :D)
Negros Island can be seen from the port, so the voyage was not that long.

Arrived at San Carlos Port, Negros Occidental

The bus was really comfortable so we really had a great look of the wonderful views. Most of the farmers plant tubo (sugar cane). When I asked one of the resident in Murcia, he said that there is a large plantation of sugar in Negros. One ton of tubo would cost 2, 500PhP or more. And a hectare of sugar cane farmers will earn 30,000PhP to 40,000PhP. That's a lot of money already. Yet most of tubo farms are owned by big people so they come in Haciendas and they earn a lot from it. Well atleast now I know where most of our sugar come from. :D

They also have rice farms but not like in Bohol where you can see plenty of it. I was fascinated by this rice terraces along the way.



Amazing right?? Well, I don't want you to agree with me. But I was awed by this view at first cause I thought I can only see this in Northern Luzon. 

additional view while travelling.
After almost four hours ride from San Carlos to Murcia we arrived safely to the place. The accomadation was great and I had a safe and sound sleep. Since we slept at the rooftop, I managed to take some pictures of the rice fields.

sunset
 This the sunset from the place we stayed at.. Well, you can't fully see the sun though... :D

PhilRice Farm
 This is probably the largest farm at Negros Occidental owned by PhilRice. They said that it has 90 hectares rice fields which is for experimentation. I also saw an albino carabao there but failed to catch a picture of it.. tsk tsk tsk..

View of Mount Kanlaon

We travelled back the day after we arrived. We were hoping to catch the barge but it went off already. So we had to stay one night at San Carlos City. Glad to have a one room still available to stay at. With had no choice but to stay in this tiny room since all rooms were reserved.

Yoyong's Travellers Inn



 We had a mouthful dinner at Gaisano, where only few people go to. I was really surprised how can such a mall have few people. Mind you they don't have McDo, so you might as well switch to Jollibee cause it definitely has no competition. Well, in our case, we had to eat somewhere else to satisfy our palate.

Babsie's Restaurant
 This was the only restaurant we found at Gaisano. They serve Filipino foods, the common ones. :D



I ordered crispy pork.
 I love everything fried. And this one is exactly fried the way I want it. Oishi-yo... :D

And the famous bulalo.

Halo-Halo
 For the dessert, we had the halo-halo. Which is very delicious in this hot summer.. :D

Found this attractive at the restaurant.. hahahahaha



This time we really need to catch the barge so we had to wake up early at 3am. We arrived in Toledo Cebu 7am.

Stayed at my college mates for a while.

B-hauz




 It was a tiring travel, so they didn't bother when I slept for 10 hours when we arrived. hahahahahaha

May 22, 2013

Bridesmaid Dillemma


One of my friends are getting married just knew it a moment ago. The most irritating part is, I wasn't given a notice long before. I really felt bad about it. I have always wanted to be a bridesmaid of a friend's wedding but this chance get pass me.

I'm not be attending. I'm sorry if I can't. It's not that I can't stand the wedding, it's just that I won't be able to stand two of my friends are bridesmaid and I was not. I've been repeating it many times that for every wedding I wanted to be one of the bridesmaid, they have forgotten that.

Well, silly me too. I've been passive for months not even replying to their message. Yet, someone should have told me that they are getting married.

Woahhh,, and I got a text message invitation. I was hoping to get a formal envelope. :(

May 11, 2013

Don't Mock at Me, Not Now


Friends nah- I thought I would have the most genuine one or I guess I have one but I just don't know it yet.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I will be able to have one knowing that my character is too fragile at times. I hate being myself like this. The moment I pity myself for such stupid comment that stabs me to death. It aches inside and all those positive thoughts wash away. Yet, you can never stop people from judging, they are born like that.

You judge. I judge. We judge. Before I was, but the moment I figured that this will do me no good and my character couldn't take a lot of negative thoughts oftentimes. I gradually stopped. Sometimes, I think way off what other people were thinking- the reason why he has done that. There is always a reason beneath the persona which you will never understand unless you'll try to decipher them. May it be good or bad every people needs an explanation. And every single one has chosen their own to set things right regardless of what the turn out maybe.
And whether how eager I am to live in the world where no one minds my own business, there is nothing like that. The only way out is to endure and face them even how painful that is.

This one thing I thought of. You don't know if your friend now is a friend forever. Like what most of the variables try to represent, there's this uncontrolled variable that can eventually change them. Change which is not favor to yours but to anybody else. The person you've get along for a long time might be your opposing character this time.

May 6, 2013

Unknown Place worth Visiting (Amoa ni :D)


My friends visited me last April and have always wanted to travel around Bohol.  Since I am not much of a person who travels a lot I was not convinced of going to chocolate hills (which I visited many times already since I live here). They were really eager to prove that they visited Bohol through taking some pictures of chocolate hills which had become the land mark of our province.
Declining their invitation was also because of the time constraint. They were only free for three days to unwind and most of the time were spent in our fiesta. So I told them that maybe it would be best to tour around Bohol next time cause I will be probably be inviting them next year. Well to compensate for the failed travel to chocolate hills, I decided to tour them around our place and to our undiscovered mother dam which offers a great view of the mountains and fresh air. At first I thought I'll fail to amuse them but visiting the place made them glow with excitement. They can't get enough taking pictures of the view.
Approaching dam.. :S
At first you'll thought it is a lake...
(captured view of the dam)

To get a better view we climbed the rest house atop a hill took some pictures and then transferred to a hill facing the rest house to get an overlooking view of the dam.
Finally at the top of a small hill. We managed to take a pose
to ease tiredness of climbing. :D

We did a series of pose there with the same view..Hahahahahaha.. My friends were just so photoholic (just using my term).

Salve gives us a Peace sign.. :D

I told Ritch to be careful to stand on this since part of the hill is steep..
Like she cares that much.. she striked a pose anyway..hahahahahha

As if looking at something... (Where is the sun?)
If not for these two gals, I wouldn't dare strike a pose.. 

I think it is time to pose on my own... Trust me, I not really into pictures
cause I am not really photogenic plus the blemishes
are so clearly visible up close...Hmmmmmp.. Well this one doesn't show..
So this one is worth-posting!!! hahahahaha
 
Just posing a dramatic scene to change our signature cute poses.. hahahaha

Mind you the fresh air was really relaxing though we've arrived there 3:30 in the afternoon (which is really hot hot hot) we didn't feel the lurching heat on our skin. With some effort though we managed to take some good pictures. Hahahahahaha


The place was really peaceful, so we need to be really careful as we walk. Respecting unknown creatures thriving the place by saying "Tabi poh" can save you to some danger (seriously). I have visited the place many times but this was the first time I took a lot of pictures.

I ended up the photo session mah self,,,, what can you say??

May 4, 2013

Thoughts on "Gentleman"

I am a K-POP fan but that doesn't mean that I should like K-POP songs released by certain bands I liked. I don't follow the trend of most teenagers. I listen to songs I appreciate sometimes regardless of the singer as long as they release songs worth listening to and suits my taste.

Believe me, I've never been a fan of PSY. Sometimes I wonder why everybody was hooked to the song "Gangnam Style" that reached millions of views in Youtube (which probably many got curious why it went viral that added to the number of views). No offense to PSY but I just don't think that his videos are suited to children. I even read and article that some of his videos were banned in South Korea. (How true could that be?) Well just saying..

Perhaps, everyone should look into the essence of the music more not just the funny side of it or trend.
Now his new song gentleman was released. Is this another viral?
You can watch the "Gentleman" video and provide comments below.


Things I Do (Bored)



Most days are boring but I managed to cope though with the tools I have (netbook, books and magazines) which kept me busy most of the time.

The month of February finally arrived, it's been weeks though, but I come to finally realize it now. I felt bored last night after having watched all the episodes of Nikita that I copied from my classmate in college. So I decided to watch one of my favorite series "Special A". It might be pathetic for some to watch same thing all the time, but for me it revives the feeling of love and contentment that I haven't felt for a long time. At least these series gives me that much though. I felt it is too risky to try it myself though at this times. And then I slept….. Deeply..

Morning came, and papa arrived with my food of course as he usually does. I figured I still have one book unfinished. I looked it up, and read the left pages. "Tuesdays with Morrie"- that was the title. It made cry for a little while and also made me think if I also have a teacher I've been attached to before. And I do have , atleast one, who have inspired me for a little while. Every words in the book are written so passionately and true. Every quotes are worth to be bookmarked and be read to every people wanting to feel relieved and contented.